2010 to do list

guitar lessons
pole dance lessons
start kickboxing and dance workouts
hand gun class
learn some chinese
find a job and actually keep it
hit the gym more
do work!
party hard
have lots of fun
make everyday an adventure
play more video games
read more books
learn to cook

shopping after christmas

things i got:
tnf isabella in red
tnf laptop bag in black
spyder long sleeve shirt in red in kyds
spyder jacket in red
fingerless gloves in black
if i remember correctly that's about it lol

things i wanted:
juicy couture bag
ugg boots
but damn it why does the line have to be so damn long!

merry christmas

went clubbing
got lots of chocolate
spend some of it with a cool kid
now all i need is a job

woodbury tomorrow hooray

now if only this weather was a lot better. i mean, i've always wanted a white christmas but this weather is pissing me off

happy holidays everybody!

give me more reasons to hate you

cause i need it. and i know you'll never be there. now get the fuck out of my head. you've changed my life and i've changed yours. you've changed and so have i. now give me more reasons to hate you so i don't have to feel like i did something wrong. just go away.

Tuesday Night Confessions

"Get the fuck out of my head. You are not important anymore."

Or at least that's what I keep telling myself. But seriously, get the fuck out of my head. We're not the same people anymore. Too bad right? I wish you happiness and best of luck in your dreams. Just so you know, you're still the only person that knows me the best.

things to do this winter

MET
MoMA
get a job
clubbing
read a book
reconnect with old friends
Disney store
pole dance


i forgot my list lol

lol at the memories!

"I do. I love you, really I do. And I'm sorry, if I'm not the perfect boyfriend in your eyes. I'm sorry, I'm not good at this. I'm not used to this, I'm just a beginner at this relationship thing remember? I'm just learning; how to love, how to live. Please, just know that I do love you. You are the most important person in my life. I can't let you lose it. I won't lose you. You and me forever, remember baby? I won't wait until it's too late. I promise I won't. I love you, love love love you."

lol i laughed when i read this because that's what he used to tell me but then he runs away like a little bitch. you're the man.

thank god it is finally december

you know what that means

two more weeks of class (about seven days)
reg of classes at CSI
two papers, three finals - STUDY LIKE CRAZY

WINTER BREAK!
find a job
christmas parties
new year parties
birthday parties
weekend parties
vacation

then spring semester

mamatsui

stop fucking complaining! god!
anniee this shirt is no good. anniee this shirt bleeds. anniee this shirt is red. anniee this. anniee that.
shutttheeeeefuckkkkkuppppp
god i'm sick and tired of you complaining
just stfu and deal with it
all talk and no walk
you're not all that and the world does not go around you
GET OVER IT!

black friday

purple beater and teal 3/4 shirt ($1.95!)
burgundy leg warmers
black, gray, burgundy v neck sweaters
3x mirror
herbal essences long term relationship leave in condition to protect split ends
transformer hat
five body sprays from bath and body (don't wanna get the body sprays so i'm not gonna write the names out)
pillow mist for sleep

three or four other things for a friend

Thanksgiving

what i'm thankful for:
all my friends. all the laughs and smiles and happiness. i can always depend on a friend to make my day. no doubt about it.
my mom. kinda stop bugging me. lol.
that i decided to go through this one year of no relationship thing. thank god. gotta prove to myself i can make it without anybody. and especially since females are so typical and dependent.
i got back to csi. i hate brooklyn college.
the breakup. now i know.

what i'm not thankful for:
brooklyn college. i hate you.
high cholesterol. screw you i want my cheese.
love. you make me weak.
job. you were unpaid and boring.

jimmy kong

i'm about three days late so forgive me

i have never felt sadness like six years ago from friday. i still can't believe it. i lasted six years without you. are you proud? i still remember how we met. i remember everything actually. the last night phone calls, the wake up calls, the first kiss to the very last one, how you asked me out, and how you took my breath away and so much more. you're the greatest man i know. yes, not a boy, a man. a real man. i still don't understand why out of all people it gotta me you. at one point i tried to convinced myself that there was a reason for it and it was for the better. but honestly, it's not working. i even tried to tell myself you send him to me for a reason but all he did was caused me pain. did you give me to tell teach me a lesson? well, whatever it is thank you. i've learned a lot. now if it's okay, can you take all this pain and all my trust issues away. i would like to have a normal life. i would definitely like to have the life i had when i was with you. anyways, thank you for being my best friend. i miss you.

Christmas wish list

01: amazon kindle
02: skateboard
03: punching bag

hate hate hate

i did not think i can hate a school more than my high school but boy oh boy did i find it. god i fucking hate you. i can't wait to get the fuck out. if you had a face i would punch it. hate isn't even close ehhhhhh. i need some ice cream bye!

I ain't that stereotypical woman, singing about a man that's gone and crying while I look out the window.

i hope that doesn't change how you look at me. this is who i am, and if you don't like it then i guess i'm going to have to leave.

Five Bosses You'll Have After College

1. The "Why Isn't This Working?" Boss

At first, you may mistake this guy for an unusually thick intern. But once he parks himself behind his executive credenza and starts bawling about his email client, your ego will be piledrived by the horrible truth: this flailing man-child is your boss.

Odds are you'll never get to your real job, since you'll spend every moment helping this special-needs supervisor send "eMemos" through his "BlogBerry." Why has someone who can't understand how a mouse works been given control over other human beings? Maybe it's fate, or maybe it's because your entire life is the subject of Japan's #1 Hidden Camera Prank Show: "Happy Go Go Dream-Crushing: American Youth Has Maximum Aneurysm With Peanut Sauce."

You May Already Know Him: In college, he was the guy outside your window at 4AM screaming "Why isn't the food court open?" and sobbing while he tugged on the door handle.

---

2. The "I Swear This Is All On The Up-And-Up" Boss

Wow man, you hit the jackpot on this one. This boss is young, cool, and a high-powered financial manager who speaks in words that sound like they're worth a million dollars each. Better yet, he said he'd take you under his wing! You're a made man.

What exactly does he do? Something involving doubledown hedge-business trimester merger loans. Right, right, who cares? The money's rolling in, and he trusts you so much that he lets you put your signature on everything right next to his. This guy is awesome.

Weird, though, he should have been in the office by now. I guess he went on vacation. Huh. Looks like he took all the office furniture with him. Come to think of it, where is everyone? Is it a holiday? Better check the news... oh cool, that's your boss's face on CNN!

Oh, hold up, some pretty angry-looking guys in suits are getting off the elevator. Some of them are pointing at you and shouting. I guess they must be friends of his?

You May Already Know Him: "Man, did you know that you get free pizza if you donate blood this year? Yeah? Well, here's the kicker: It can be anybody's blood. No, they don't advertise that, but it's true. Unrelated note: I need you to meet me tonight at nine in the alleyway behind the gym. Bring a bucket."

---

3. The "Drink the Kool-Aid? I Love Kool-Aid!" Boss

Work is simple. You go into the office, roll your eyes for eight hours, then you come home and bitch about it to either A) your significant other or B) the internet. Another workday crossed off the calendar before you can finally embrace the sweet release of death.

Not so for Kool-Aid Boss. He's excited to be here. He's excited you're here. He's excited that you, him, and the mammoth, cold, uncaring corporation are all on the same team. Years of mind-sapping tedium have sucked the self-esteem right out of his brain-tubes, and he's now convinced that the company is his only friend.

Will he cheerfully deprive his employees of benefits because a higher-up told him to? Of course! Would he have you killed for the same reason? Maybe. He knows a guy.

You May Already Know Him: "Hey guys, look! A Student Activities knifeless pumpkin-decorating contest! Fuck yes! This is what college is all about, am I right?"

---

4. The "I Was Born to Do This" Boss

By now, college and the internet have probably coated your brain in a rich layer of postmodern pseudo-irony that will forever protect it from taking anything seriously or ever knowing true love (sorry about that). But some people have to justify their existence in other ways, like, say, the "I Was Born to Do This" Boss.

It doesn't matter what hellhole you two are working in, your boss wouldn't want to be anywhere else. This job runs in his blood. Working in a shoe store? His ancestors brought the first Foot Locker over on the Mayflower. Selling cutlery sets door-to-door? His great-grandfather was Kleevor the Flesh Render, Emperor of Knives.

You May Already Know Him: "Move it guys, we have a deadline to meet. ClamJams is the only campus magazine currently dedicated to pictures of shellfish dressed to look like famous R&B singers, and I will have your goddamned ass on a platter if you make us look like idiots in the next issue."

---

5. The "We're All Going to Die" Boss

Welcome to the team! Great to have you. Now get out your life vest and grab on to something, because all our clients are on fire and our money is imploding.

This boss gives off enough anxiety to power seventeen junior proms. Between the global recession, and the fact that there are eighty million Chinese people who could do his job a hell of a lot better, it's amazing he crawled out of the fetal position long enough to hire you.

Expect mandatory daily meetings full of desperate themes like "The Internet = Wealth Success???" and "Recession-Proof: Incorporating Pornography Into Your Business Model." Eventually one of his doomed ideas will involve firing you. Just don't be surprised when this boss slips you his resume during your goodbye handshake and mouths "take me with you."

You May Already Know Him: "The final is tomorrow? No problem. Just give me a fifth of vodka, a bag of Pete's special brownies and lock me in the supply room. If I huff these along with some of the chemicals in there, there's a small chance I'll be able to escape this terrible dimension of consequences."

new summer to do list

1. breakfast AND lunch AND dinner + moviemarathon
2. eating contest
3. korean bbq
4. bbq
5. beach
6. park
7. sixflags
8. paintball
9. museum
10. walk the brooklyn bridge
11. july4th celebration
12. camping in someone's backyard
13. atlantic city
14. skydiving
15. pretend to be tourists (and wear NASTY fob clothes)
16. mini road trip
17. pedicures (even the guys)
18. laser tag
19. ADVENTURES
20. crabbing/fishing at jones beach
21. attend a tv show recording
22. have our portraits painted in times sq
23. attend an airplane show
24. attend a sporting event
25. go kayaking/ canoeing
26. huge water fight
27. STATUE OF LIBERTY
28. bonfire- roast s'mores
29. go to LI aquarium
30. karaoke
31. sleepover
32. sports day (every sport possible and random games ex: taping our feet together and racing)
33. happy meal party
34. concert
35. improv
36. photo scavenger hunt (we'll make teams)
37. invade Central Park in superhero costumes and pretend to save people
38. visit all 4 boroughs
39. crash a block party
40. picnic in central park
41. make signs in shapes of thought bubbles with things like "her ass is huge" or other random things and we will switch signs and such and not talk at all, but just look at ppl and smile. =D
42. beer games
43. human pyramid with everyone in the group
44. reach 10,000 tagged pics by the end of summer
45. walk on water by making starch water mixture
46. make our own holiday and try to convince ppl it's real (think of names/ideas)
47. bungee jumping
48. trespass dyker park
49. NY Hall of Science (8$ for college kids SCORE)
50. throw paper airplanes from a tall building or bridge.
51. shoot mentos+dietcoke at yo phace!
52. chill for a day until nighttime ... then prepare midnight snacks
53. Go to a spa at 3am (there's a 24hr spa in KTOWN)
54. Silent library
55. make something from http://thisiswhyyourefat.com/
56. party/silly string fight
57. have a legit food fight !

50 Things you must do to be a gay man

1. Out yourself.
This is kind of fundamental, so if you haven't done it yet, go do it now. Go on. We'll Wait.

2. Dance on a podium with your shirt off.
This is most likely to occur at a nightclub or dance party, but score extra points for doing it at your sister's wedding. Being swept up in the music, the crowd, and being half naked is what they mean by the term 'gay abandon'.

3. Call it 'product'.
One day it was hair gel, the next it was product. What changed? You went gay, that's what.

4. Measure yourself.
Curiosity got the better of you and you took a ruler to your privates. Then ego got the better of you and you added an inch.

5. Sleep with your ex-boyfriend.
Most of us have done this. Those of you who haven't
slept with your ex-boyfriend have probably slept with mine. Slut. It's not only an easy lay, it's a good way to find out exactly how over him you really are.

6. Pay too much for clothes.
You paid $270 for a cotton T-shirt bearing the slogan "poor white trash". Ever heard the term 'the pink dollar'? What about 'sucker'?

7. See a shrink.
There's nothing wrong with asking for help. Besides, who else will sit and listen to you talk about you for 55 minutes?

8. Bring your boyfriend home to meet Mom and Dad.
You dressed him, told him what he could and couldn't say, then threw him to the lions - I mean, your parents. If he was a stuttering mess it was probably your fault. Next time, ease him in with a brother or sister.

9. Seriously ask someone, "Does this make me look gay?"
It's one thing to use the word 'gay' as an adjective, but another when it becomes derogatory. How many of us are horrified when our friends turn around and say "Yes"?

10. Vogue.
From the dance floor to the train, you've struck a pose that optimized your best asset. Namely, your ass. Work it baby, work it!

11. Go to Mardi Gras.
At some point, everyone should make the pilgrimage to the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras. To be counted. To champion gay rights. To get laid.

12. Buy expensive underwear.
Gay men don't buy their underwear in economy packs. If you're still spending seven days in Rio, it's time to lay down some cash. Your boyfriend will thank me for it. Right after he gets over the suspicion that you're sleeping with someone with money.

13. Don't correct the pronoun.
They say "Oh, you're in a relationship? What's she like?" and you reply "She has a penis." You should never intentionally use your sexuality as a punch line - but every now and again it's good for the cause and can be an amusing icebreaker.

14. Have a threesome.
If you believe you're more than one man can handle maybe you should get another one.

15. Shave something.
You went with a razor where most men don't. You plucked where no man has been plucked. You waxed above and beyond. Gay much?

16. Pierce something.
In a moment of bravado, you went and put another hole in your body. Bonus point if it was below the neckline and another if it was below the waist.

17. Refuse to date someone because he's an Aries.
And you're a Pisces; it'd never work out long term. Best you find yourself a nice reliable Taurus with their moon in Virgo and settle down in the suburbs.

18. Defend Buffy.
Be it for it's place in gothic culture or it's modern take on a woman trying to balance career and personal goals, you justify watching one of the most frivolous and camp shows on television. It has nothing to do with Angel's upper body.

19. Cheat.
Yeah, yeah, calm down. I know this isn't exclusive to gay men, but you gotta admit, we do it a little more spectacularly than most.

20. Acquire a fag hag.
More essential than your mobile phone, more fashionable than your Gucci glasses, your fag hag is your mentor, support network and second opinion all wrapped up in one slightly overweight and completely smitten package. Available where most cheesecakes are sold.

21. Relate to a Kylie song.
You can't get him out of your head, you're shocked by the power of love, but he's the devil you know. Je ne sais pas pourquoi? It all seems to sum up your relationship. Assuming you're fortunate to be in a relationship. I should be so lucky.

22. Leave.
You must leave the place you were born and reinvent your new gay self somewhere else. From London to Sydney, Sydney to New York, New York to LA. You've been to Paradise, but you've never been to me--er, I mean you.

23. Forget his name the morning after.
Assuming, of course, he ever told you the night before. If you still want it, there's three ways to get it: ask him to spell it, ask to see the photo on his drivers licence or get him to put his number into your mobile. Of course, these are also good ways to discover if he's remembered yours.

24. Satisfy someone's curiosity.
"I'm not gay, I'm just curious." Uh-huh. The straight boy community service bonk. Bonus point for getting his tongue in your mouth. Another bonus point for getting his tongue in your bum.

25. Sleep with a woman.
If you ever want to find out exactly how gay you are, thy this on for size. Breast assured, you'll know.'

26. Join a gym.
Mostly so you can cruise the locker room, but at some point so you can workout - work out that you don't belong there. Buy an Ab-Shaper and some porn. You'll sweat just as much and it'll cost you less.

27. Believe people are surprised when they learn you are gay. They're not. They're just being polite.

28. Work in hospitality.
It's a miracle the Religious Right ever eat out.

29. Hold hands in public.
Without thinking about the politics or what anyone else thought, you simply took his hand and held it. With that simple act of intimacy you became the only two people on the planet and the rest of the world faded away.

30. Get caught in a compromising position.
Be it by your roommate, your mother, or his boyfriend you were sprung doing something you wouldn't normally see on the Disney channel.

31. Lose your virginity more than once.
You whisper to him "I've never done this before," since you no longer count that worthless ex-boyfriend of yours, the guy you met on-line or that time at the sauna. And hell, it's been so long now it's practically closed over!

32. Perpetuate a myth.
Maybe you can cook. Or you're an flight attendant. Somewhere close to the surface lies an obvious stereotype that belies your sexual identity and explains why you're not married. "Oh, you're a hairdresser. I see*"

33. Shatter a myth.
But maybe you can play football. Or you're a brickie's labourer. You're an enigma wrapped in a riddle wearing footy shorts. Call me.

34. Pay for sex.
Your libido is raging, it's his 'actual photo', it's like dialing a pizza.

35. Have sex in a bathroom.
Classy. Real classy. C'mon guys, location, location, location!

36. Trophy fuck.
The guy everyone used to refer to as 'Oblique Boy' is now referred to as the guy you slept with. Take a bow.

37. Exercise poor judgement.
We all have someone in our past we have trouble justifying. I have two. But the elements conspired and you got involved with a perpetual black mark on your sexual resume. Now let's never speak of it again.

38. Make Love.
At some point, let's hope, every gay man gets to do this with the guy he loves. And not just make love, make really good love.

39. Claim you're on a caffeine high.
Sure you are.

40. Sleep with your best friend.
Oops! But it happened and now you need to minimise the fall-out. Avoid expressions like "You're not as good as you always claimed to be" and "Sorry, I was desperate." Bonus point if you retained the friendship and another if it was a threesome with your other best friend.

41. Fret over the lighting.
There's always that awkward moment when you get back to your place and turn on the lights. It's not that you're worried he's not as cute as he seemed at the club, but whether he's suddenly got an "early meeting".

42. Deny you are gay.
Gay pride is all well and good but on some occasions it's wise to pretend you're straight - at least until that mean old homophobe of a grandfather's dead and you've inherited the cash.

43. Donate sperm.
You're young, handsome, virile and you can co-ordinate your wardrobe. There should be more of you in the gene pool. And considering all the sperm donations you've received, maybe it's time to give some back.

44. Cut someone's hair.
Our sexuality affords us the presumption to redecorate our friends' apartments, arrange their wardrobes and occasionally, cut their hair. What I love is that the breeders are stupid enough to let us do it.

45. Can the small talk.
You don't care what he does for a living, where he bought his shirt or his opinion on performance poetry, just take me home. I'm a busy man.

46. Wear stilettos.
You may do it every weekend, or maybe you did it once in private, but at some point, those high heels had you under their spell.

47. Laugh it off.
Someone in the room made a homophobic joke and you were the first one to laugh. Or maybe you made the joke. Stop taking it all so seriously. We're gay. It's supposed to be fun!

48. Fall in love with a straight guy.
Love is blind - and stupid too. Nothing proves that point more than when we do this to ourselves. If you're questioning his sexuality or sitting there wishing, "If only he was gay*," you need to get over it real quick or subject him to this test.

49. Take it up the butt.
It's not everyone's cup of cocoa but you've gotta do it once to find out.

50. Be proud.
Stand tall and claim your place in the world. You've come a long way, baby!

to-buy list

-knee high socks
-pretty light scarves
-flat and high boots
-hats
-more jewelry
-bigger bag
-make-up brushes
-baby shampoo
-candles
-netbook

i forgot the rest

Summer 2009

This summer was an okay summer. I'm not going to say it was the best summer, but I'm also not going to say it's the boring summer. This summer I went on vacation. I went to China and Hong Kong. My mom pretty much pissed me of the whole time, but I'm so glad I was away from New York. While I was there I've realize how much my friends mean to me. I've missed them so much.
This summer I also did my first internship. I intern at 95.5 WPLJ. It's a boring job but I have fun there. I wish it was a paid job though. I've decided I'm gong to stay for the fall.
This summer I have also dropped some people from my life. I dropped the one guy I thought I would be friends forever with. I have realized I don't need him at all. He's just like the rest. I have also dropped this one friend I've known for so so long. This summer is tough. I have come to realized I will drop a eight year friendship just like that. This summer have be cold. Literally, lol.
I have also gotten close with a friend I would I would never be close with. I really wish I was this close to you sooner. You're such a great friend. I wish you the best of luck in the future. You moving to California is such a heartbreak. I love you and stop it with these girls!
I also met some new friends. They're awesome. I have so much funwith them. I laugh a lot. Whenever we chill there's always a smile on my face. Meeting them I also met a 'special' friend. This special friend makes me super happy and super sad at the same time. But I will live.
I also got to party a lot this summer. I'm so glad I did. I had so much fun and all my stress went away.
I also joined the gym. That is one thing I am extremely proud of.
I also got to see some celebrities. I got to take a picture with the Victoria's Secret models and I got to see Trey Songz.
This summer over all was pretty good. I have to admit there were days when I was bored out of my mind and wish it was the weekend so I can party already but never-the-less I enjoyed this summer.
Goodbye summer. I shall miss you.

All I ever wanted

All I ever wanted, was for you to not be who you are. I want to think of you as a God or perhaps even a soldier to save me. I want to see you as a man and not a boy. I want to feel your heart and not mine telling me no. All I ever wanted, was to believe you.

The 7 People You'll Find at the Beach

The Lost Child
This little booger knows what's up. Instead of getting sunscreen-ed every 30 minutes by his ma, begging his old man to play catch with him in the water because he's not allowed to swim alone, and getting bitched out by his older sister for getting sand on her towel, he gracefully bows out. He doesn't even make a scene, he just quietly goes on a search for a better family to hang out with. As he wanders across the beach, kicking sand up until it forms a paste with his poorly rubbed-in sunscreen coat, he may look as though he's zoning out and unaware that he is getting farther and farther from his family, but make no mistake: this kid is on a mission. So when he hears his name called from the lifeguard stand, it takes a few minutes worth of frantic yelping by his mother who stole the megaphone, for him to wander back to his kin and get bombarded by tears and and more SPF 45. His escape will just have to wait till the next beach outing.

Camp Family
This gang comes just short of U-Hauling onto the beach for the day. They arrive at eleven, dragging coolers, chairs, tents and a boom box on the thrones that are their boogy boards. They are the living embodiment of a sporting goods store display window. Every member of this six-person family has brought two friends; the ideal amount for a 7-on-7 football game. Whoops, their nerf balljust hit a woman reading in a chair. This is where the Camp Family's peace keeping mantra first rings out across the sand: "My bad." This is the motto that is embossed below the Camp Family Shield. At noon, this army of enthusiasm makes a mad dash into the water, selfishly splashing those "working their way into the water." After a loud game of Marco Polo that involves leading "Marco" into an old man floating on a noodle, the team gets out for lunch. Oh, is the smoke from their elaborate grill system blowing into your face? "My bad."

The Tanners
Like seriously, there IS an exact science to getting a nice, bronze, shiny case of Melanoma. Eleven to three is the minimum, sunglasses are a must, and white toe-nail polish is essential. Keep rotating positions every three Miley Cyrus songs, and reapply baby oil every two hours. And don't forget to untie your straps; tan lines are sooo trashy. A little sun-in goes a long way. Beer makes you bloated. Ocean water dries out your hair. But no worries, if you forget the rules, just ask a tanner; they're sprawled out in little clusters all over the beach in their strapless bikinis. Just make sure you don't stand in their sun, or they'll flip [out--not positions].

The Business Man
Well that's a smart idea. Bring your Blackberry to the beach. Get sand in every button, salt water on the screen. No? Okay. Just talk on your bluetooth the whole time with your assistant Donald, sounds hardly carry on the beach. Yeah. And bring your files so stray fax papers fly around, causing those actually relaxing on the beach to play fetch with your latest business proposal. Don't spend the beach day with your pubescent children, or your menopausal wife, after all, you're the one putting the food on the table. Wait, Don? Are you there? Can you hear me? Can you hear me?

The "Not a Beach Person"
"I'm just not a beach person," he shrugs, as he gets out of the car. Keeping his Reebok sneakers on, he says, "I don't like the feeling of sand." He gets to the beach and sits down, Indian-style, on the blanket, insisting that "chairs are too hard to get out of." When the rest of the group decides to go swimming, he remains; "salt water hurts my eyes." He should at least take off his Walk for Diabetes' T-Shirt shirt so he can get some color. Nope. He doesn't want to get burned. Does he want to read a book? No, the sand interferes with the integrity of the binding. Does he want to buy a snack from the vender? No, he doubts the cleanliness of the cart. Does he want to just go home? No, he wants to keep complaining.

The Show-Off's
The term "beach body" was invented by these people. They put your last-minute diet (ok, fine, you just skipped breakfast) to shame. These people are hot. And they know it. While you spend the whole day sucking in, awkwardly leaning back on your elbows while you sit so your gut looks (sort of) flatter, these people frolic with abandon. So you might as well put that giant t-shirt back on, because you've already lost. If you frolicked, you'd look like a Jello pudding cup, but these people know what they're doing. The men dive for frisbees and the women emerge from the water with the knowledge that they are going to be in your dreams tonight. Don't pretend they won't. Even the way these people pick their bathing suit wedgies is magic.

Chewbaca
Point blank: hair plus water doesn't equal anything good. You know these guys (and some ladies), the helpless hair bastards. They spend all winter growing these full-body coats, all spring contemplating the hair removal section of their local drugstore, and all summer trying to comb sand out of their tangled bodyhair. This hair doesn't just stay in the regular places either. This is top-of-the-shoulder, over-the-knuckles, above-the-ass-crack,back-of-the-thighs stuff. It's hopeless. You would feel bad for them if you weren't so busy trying not to puke.

Stop making me happy.

Let's call the whole thing off.

I don't want to smile when I hear your name. I don't want my heart to beat nonstop when I know I'm about to see you. I don't want to wait for your IM. i don't want this type of happiness. I don't want drama. I don't want you.

Goodbye 'friend'

You were there since day one. We went way back, since the 5th grade I believe. You've always told me you got my back. I still remember the fun we had when we go out and find ourselves doing random stuff. Shenanigans was our middle name. 'Bros over hoes.' You made that so clear. You taught me that. But ever since she came around you haven't been the same. You listening to everything she says. You're not the man I used to know. You don't even show up half the time anymore. The Bro Code seems to have disappeared in your heart. You want to end our friendship just because she says so. Well, good luck in life because you will never hear, speak, or see me ever again. Goodbye 'friend.' And I don't hate her, I hate you. For leaving me at a time like this.

My dirty little secret

-Cracks me up all the time
-Makes me sad sometimes
-Brings out the devil in me
-May actually care
-Confused?
But it's okay. Cause that's how I know I'm human and still alive.

But, he's a jerk.

Boy: Why don't you think of me anymore. Girl: Cause I've found happiness in another man. Boy: But, he's a jerk. He's no good for you. Girl: So were you.

You're not who I thought you were. You're not the same. I tried too many times to chill but you keep pushing it. I've had it. It's time I officially say, you're out of my life for good.

Sunday confessions.

At first, it was just for fun and sex. She liked the danger cause it was exciting. Now she fell and don't know how to walk away. Oh how dangerously exciting this is.

To all the stupid bitches out there

When a man puts his fucking hands on you, it's a sign to leave. If he cheats, it's a sign to leave. If he disrespects you in ANY way, it's a sign to leave. If he makes you cry a river, it's a sign to leave. I don't understand females sometimes. WHY DO YOU STAY WITH HIM?! EHHHHHHHHHH. Don't be stupid, God -.-"

Fun crazy thigns to do this summer

-sleep at a beach
-skinny dipping
-sleep in a park
-throw atleast 10 park parties
-have a bonfire
-camp in the backyard
-ride the subway all day
-play midnight subway cart game (run from subway cart to subway cart before the doors close)
-go pool hopping at night
-throw a themed party (ex. football bros and cheerleading hoes)
-wear bra and panties outside of clothes for a day
-bbq and brewskies
-water gun drive by
-have a picnic on a roof
-go to a concert after party
-go to a spa
-go go-karting
-drive in theatre
-graffiti something
-go paint balling
-laser quest
-have dinner at The Old Spaghetti Factory
-Old Fashioned Slip and Slide!
-Water Skiing
-Moon Bounce
-Water Gun/Water Balloon Fights
-Try a new food every day
-Canoeing
- roll down a hill
- create a scrapbook together
- sleep under the stars
- roll in mudd
- truth or dare
- climb a tree

I don't need you anymore

You didn't put up a fight. You didn't put me first. You said you cared and you would but you didn't. You didn't give me enough. You didn't even try. You don't care anymore. You don't even see me anymore, you just look right pass me. I'm not the same to you anymore. You've found happiness somewhere else. Well, so did I. I don't need you anymore.

My gay and straight 5

Gay
01: Megan Fox
02: Angelina Jolie
03: Any of the Victoria's Secret models
04: Beyonce
05: Kim Loan (back in the day when she was young and hot)

Straight
01: Chase Crawford
02: Channing Tatum
03: Chad Michael Murray
04: Brad Pitt
05: Abercrombie models

If you were a boy, what type of boy would you be?

The player. The one with no feelings. The 'Mark.' The one that don't know how to love. The womanizer. The one that think all females are the weaker sex. The one that only wants sex. The one that runs from love. The one that runs before getting hurt. The one that will never fall in love. The heart breaker and NEVER the heart broken. The one that sweet talk all the girls so they will sleep with them. The one that don't care about their girl's feelings. The ex that everybody hates. The one everybody warns about but still fall for anyways. The one that uses his ego more than his brain. I want to be the boy that don't believe in romantic and only hurts the ones that love them because those are the boys that will never cry for another and will live life to the fullest.

50 things to do before summer ends

- Buy a stack of old MAD magazines from a second-hand bookshop & read them in the sun
- Take lots of photos of you & your friends enjoying the weather (DONE)
- Wear something totally inappropriate & go dancing
- Drink cocktails & listen to Duffy
- Make at least one new friend (DONE)
- Lie in bed in the morning, with the windows open & good music playing loudly (DONE)
- Take an outdoor yoga class
- Eat black cherries (DONE)
- Flirt with someone of the same sex (DONE)
- Have a picnic in a tree
- Buy an inflatable paddling pool, lie in it & take self-portraits
- Take a dog for a walk (if you don’t have one, borrow someone else’s!)
- Trust your intuition (DONE)
- Climb on a jungle-gym
- Explore a new area — even if it’s just another neighbourhood
- Kiss someone new (DONE)
- Choose a project to start working on over winter
- Get a deluxe spa pedicure
- Buy a hula-hoop & start using it!
- Throw a party in celebration of how fabulous you are
- Go to the beach & build a sand-castle
- Stock up on jangly bracelets at a flea market
- Start a journal (DONE)
- Have a slumber party with a friend & go out for breakfast in the morning
- Go to a rooftop party
- Learn some words in another language
- Make some choices which make you nervous (DONE)
- Go for a bike ride with your best friend
- Get a massage which makes you feel as if your body’s melting
- Buy a fabulous sun-hat
- Visit the tourist attractions in your own city
- Hack up an old pair of jeans into shorts
- Have an Elton John singalong (BYO crazy glasses)
- Learn to appreciate good guitar players
- Do something that your parents or friends disapprove of (DONE)
- Take the vacation days you have owing
- Take an art class
- Spend some quality alone time in saucy underwear
- Carry a tiny water-gun in your purse
- Go skinny-dipping
- Start to believe that you can truly have whatever you want (DONE)
- Make a commitment to wearing heels at least one day a week (DONE)
- Try every different bottled iced tea at your local shop
- Lie around in the grass with your sunglasses & a pair of headphones on (DONE)
- Go roller-skating
- Take a flower-arranging class
- Keep a secret
- Swear off drama (DONE)
- Reconnect with your old friends
- Read this & be inspired! (DONE)

The 7 different kinds of roommates in college

The Toddler
It might start off simply- "Oh, I lost my key", or "Hey, could I print this out on your computer?" but the dependency has only begun. Pretty soon he's asking you which shirt looks better with these khakis as you fill out the complicated parts of his FAFSA application. Of course, all of this is just child's play compared to weekends. Even the most prolonged use of your toothpaste has nothing on what happens when this enormous preschooler gets a hold of a bottle of booze. You spend most weekend nights fielding calls from a guy named J-Rock telling you that no one can get him out of the sycamore outside Sigma Nu. When you finally drag him home at 4:15 AM, you'll be rewarded with a bonus round of projectile vomiting brought to you by his accidental alcohol poisoning. It's a good thing his mom left a laminated sheet of emergency numbers glued to your tack board!

The Mascot
Hopefully you like your school's colors, because before you moved in, your roommate and his parents came early and repainted your room. Your spirited roommate has no standards for people other than the fact that they go to your school. Thus the glaring douchiness of a person doesn't matter to him as long as they are coincidentally chosen and enrolled in your class. Whenever you wear a red shirt, your roommate boos you and says, "F*ck the Wildcats," at which point you try to explain to them that red is not wolverines, it's a color. Eventually he will decide to run for student government and your front door will be plastered with campaign posters. He considers his running for office the biggest moment of your life, and never allows you to fall asleep as he explains to you all the bright new ideas he has about fresh produce in the cafeteria and a sure fire plan that will get the Guster to perform in the stadium. You won't vote for him, but he will still win the election and you will be stuck eating healthier school lunches and pretending to like Guster.

The Hopeless Romantic
If you are a girl, then Yahtzee! Your roommate's decision to enter a relationship has landed you a single. But if you're a guy, your double is now effectively a triple in which you have somehow become the imposing stranger. That feels frustrating at first, but the girlfriend has a lot of single friends and says that she will set you up with them. However, none of those girls want to date her boyfriend's roommate, because they see you as leftovers. When you finally rebel against the sexiling and stay in the room even at your roommate's urgings to leave, you find that your glorious statement means nothing as they still fornicate while you pretend to sleep and fight back tears. When a nightmare about loneliness startles you awake later that evening, you notice that they are having sex yet again. You also notice that you have a boner. Against your better judgment you begin masturbating to their lovemaking and decide that it is better than porn and that maybe having a roommate with a girlfriend isn't so bad. Until you get caught, that is. Then it's really bad.

The B.F.F.
When you walked into your open double, he was already there listening to "One Man Wrecking Machine" and hanging a poster of "Wedding Crashers" on his wall. You ripped your headphones from your ears to show him that you also were listening to Guster, and you frantically unzipped your luggage to show him your same "Wedding Crashers" poster. You find out that you both love cheeseburgers and the same TV shows. You hit on girls together, you drink together, you work out together; you do everything together. One day he meets a really cool girl and you both really like her, but she hangs out more with him probably because he's taller and she's kind of tall or whatever. It's fun because she likes Guster and "Wedding Crashers" too. But sort of like you don't see him as much as you like and you called "shotty" when you both first saw her, but he still hooked up with her. But it's cool, it's just that he chews so fucking loud lately and now he won't eat cheeseburgers because she thinks that they are unhealthy. It's not like you miss him or anything but one day you wouldn't mind if maybe he took you to a Vince Vaughn movie just the two of you...or whatever.

The Displaced Legacy
His father went to that ancient, prestigious private university that does legacy admissions, but your roommate failed to meet the already lowered standards to go to Dad's alma mater. But it wasn't his fault...just ask him. Nope, he lost his spot to Affirmative Action for underrepresented demographic groups, or, as he puts it, "they felt sorry for too many one-legged North Korean lesbians." So he "deigned to enroll" at his safety school, which is the school you were thrilled to attend. He copes with this indignity by maintaining an air of superiority and by insulting everyone. And not that you asked to join, but he says you don't have "the right bearing" to be in the a capella society he's founding. Plus, his Freshman 40 were the result of "having to frequent that communal eatery" you call the dining hall, with food "typical of this football school." You wish he would stop calling you and your friends "plebs."

The Hometown Hero
The good news is you have every weekend to yourself because homeboy over there uses his special parking pass to make the four-hour drive home to visit his high school girlfriend. They've been dating for three years now; she's "his everything." The bad news is that you know every little detail about your small-town roomie; his girlfriend's menstruation cycle, his grandmother's birthday, even about the time Stan From Back Home peed his pants after prom. While Jessica Alba posters surround your bed, picture frames and photos dominate every inch of his space. Not like he needs any still shots, this guy spends all of his time skyping. Towards the second half of the year, your weekends alone have been getting increasingly less frequent. You are no longer falling asleep to the sound of texting, or waking up to a mumbled telephone conversation from across the room. You convince your buddy to come out and party with you, but he spends the whole evening bringing up Stan stories. You really don't care about Stan From Back Home or any of his stories. At least you know that next weekend is his great uncle Gary's birthday and he'll probably be going home for that.

The Kevin Spacey
Is he or isn't he? I mean, it's not a big deal, just, you don't know. It doesn't matter which way his compass is pointing, all you want to know is what direction he's going in. Is that so much to ask? You could've broached the subject maybe in the first week, but now you're two months in and it's just getting weirder. Yeah, he'll keep telling you that girl is "super hot" or "a total fuck-bitty", but he also keeps squeezing your arm and calling you Mr. Gyllenhaal. You always walk in on him cuddling with Jackie, the hot girl from the second floor, but then if you say anything, he'll roll his eyes and tell you that she's just his best friend. Not that that's a bad thing! It's a great thing, it's whatever. It's just... CMON! He keeps on saying he has a crush on "somebody" in his chem class, but he doesn't say who, and his facebook has sexual preference as blank- OF COURSE- but it also says he loves David Sedaris, but who doesn't love David Sedaris?? He's hilarious! But then his favorite Musicians are Eminem and Mika! MIKA!!?!?!?!?

But it's whatever man, it's cool.

I'm going to prove you wrong one day.

I hate you for not believing in me. I hate you for not trusting me. I hate you for treating me like a little kid. I hate you for giving me the impression that marriage is a lie. I hate you for being overprotective. I hate you for annoying me. I hate you for being hot and cold. I hate you for not liking the person that I am. I hate you for not seeing what I go through everyday or what I've went through these past few years. I hate you for acting like you support everything that I do. I hate you for being cheap. I hate you for comparing me to others. I hate you for blaming everything on me. I hate you for making me look bad. I hate you for everything you've done and with that I'm going to prove you wrong one day.

Run

I run from everything. I run when I'm sad. I run when I'm angry. I run when I don't know what else to do. I run when there's no ice cream in my house. I run when I don't want the world to see me. I run because it makes me feel better. I run from my problems. I run when I don't want to deal with it. I run with the music. I run to heal. I just run.

Shopping list!

-powder
-concealer
-red and gold heels
-a much bigger bags
-skateboard
-punching bag
-sunglasses case
-brush cleaner

5 lies women and men tell

5 lies women tell:
1. I’m not mad at you.
2. I don’t mind if you go to the strip club with the boys.
3. I’m just not ready for a boyfriend right now.
4. I don’t mind picking up the tab tonight; you always pay anyway.
5. That was fucking great!

5 lies men tell:
1. Of course you’re prettier than your best friend and sister.
2. I wasn’t masturbating, I was readjusting.
3. I like going to Hooters for the chicken wings.
4. You’re not fat, it’s just the mirror.
5. I don’t mind picking up the tab; you always pay anyway.

one day you're gonna wake up, roll over and wish it was me and not her.

one day you'll see the sadness i felt when you decided not to fight. one day you'll see the anger i felt every time you say that one word. one day you'll see how much i cared. i still do.

Things to rant about later

-lovely dovely couples
-clingy friends/people
-loud chinese people on the train
-tourist in new york > new yorkers

The first rant.

I don't understand why people like to tell you a current time but then they're late themselves. Please people, if you know you're going to be late just tell me so so I don't have to waste my time waiting for you. "Live for the moment." The guys and I go by that. If you're just going to waste my time than I'm just not going to even bother with you. Life, and this summer for that matter, is so short. I have no time to waste.

My first blog posting thingy!

I actually don't know what to write so if you're reading this you just wasted your time[; kthx.

Oh, and I need someone to make a layout for me.

And yeah, everybody I follow are make up gurus[;

And yes I know, it's very red.